What's the weirdest misconception you have encountered about Islam?

A common misconception that people have is that dropping bombs on Muslims is a quick fix for volatile political situations in foreign countries. Strangely enough, Muslims react similarly to other people when they are bombed:

1. They die, and
2. The survivors get pissed off

- Aamer during an interview for The Age

50 Things That Should Not Exist

1.      Mondays.

2.      Stupid, uncomfortable chairs.

3.      People who sharpen their pencils slowly.

4.      Stores that check your receipt as you exit, making you feel like a criminal.

5.      Mean cats.

6.      Disease.

7.      Teachers who lie about due dates

8.      Mysterious sticky spots on desks.

9.      The phrase, "We need to give it 110%."

10.  Long sales receipts that include a code at the bottom for an online survey, that, when completed, will enter you for a chance to win a gift card. (We never win, and yet we always get our hopes up.)

11.  Blisters on the back of the ankle caused by new shoes and/or skates.

12.  Grass (Because you'd think by now it would have evolved and learned that if it grows, it will get mowed.)

13.  Back-of-the-knee sweat.

14.  Splinters.

15.  Wisdom teeth.

16.  Poverty.

17.  Fluctuating speed limits on long stretches of heavily patrolled road.

18.  Popped collars.

19.   People with tattoos written in a language that they cannot speak.

20.  Hurricanes.

21.  Racism.

22.  Park benches that are still wet from the storm that came through about two hours ago.

23.  Product placement visible in most TV shows and movies.

24.  Any arcade game or toy vending machine that costs more than 50 cents.

25.  Jay Leno

26.  Most of the videos on YouTube.

27.  Ants that disobey

28.  Traffic. (Especially if the cause of the traffic is a mystery even after the traffic jam eases up.)

29.  Any car horn other than your own.

30.  Clowns.

31.  Headaches caused by clowns.

32.  WebPages that automatically play music.

33.  Shayateen.

34.  Burned popcorn.

35.  Cold floors in the morning.

36.  Nightmares about final exams for classes you've never taken.

37.  Prescription drug commercials.

38.  Ignorance.

39.  Stinky ice cubes.

40.  Cashiers who act as though they've never seen a coupon or returned merchandise before.

41.  Paper cuts.

42.  Burglars.

43.  The short length of time glow-in-the-dark objects actually glow.

44.  Evil.

45.  Loud clocks.

46.  Homework.

47.  More homework.

48.  War.

49.  Dead batteries.

50. Cavities.

Weekend Mashup

Sunday night. I’m in bed with my laptop burning the skin off my legs and a cup of tea burning the skin off my hands. Yet my weekend was so glorious that I am actually content with these possibly crippling injuries. I haven’t done anything of monetary value, but I feel like I got a lot accomplished. Maybe that’s because I’m used to doing nothing. Let’s go back in time.

Friday. It’s too long ago for me to remember. I do recall taking a nap, though.  

Saturday. It’s the day reserved for restoring my lost sleep of the week, so I usually stay in bed for a minimum of 15 hours. When I wake up, I spend the day moping around in my room, pretending to do homework and eating my weight in Cinnamon Toast Crunch. This Saturday, however, I woke up at an astonishing 9 AM to go to IHOP. I’d never been there before, so it was quite a life changing experience. My friend and I were the only ones who weren’t 60-years-old. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many hungry old people in one place. Got a stack of cinnamon-infested pancakes. Drove to the amiga’s house. Spent an hour prank calling and watched Pineapple Express. All of my teenage wished have been fulfilled, and it’s only 1 PM. Drove back to my house. Picked up the baby sister. Went on a hike. Collected air soft gun pellets. Climbed trees. Nearly died on some train tracks. Came back home. Looked up things on the Internet. 2 hours later. Went skating with the family. Maghrib at the masjid. Fried ice cream. Went to sleep as a fatty.

Sunday. This was my first Sunday without homework, and I didn’t waste a second to enjoy my temporary freedom. Woke up to a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Colored with my kids at Sunday School. Came home. Looked up things on the Internet. Here I am now. The end.

This has been a completely pointless post.

New Psychological Disorders

Despite the permanent brain damage I’ve experienced during my senior year in high school, I can actually say that I’m learning something in my psychology class. So here’s an unofficial list of disorders that might not be sanctioned by psychologists, nor will they be found in the DSM-IV, but I think you might be able to recognize some of these mental hiccups:

Nomennonscisia: Amnesia that occurs when you see some person you've met, like, 100 times already, and you must introduce him to your friend, and you JUST. CAN'T. REMEMBER. HER NAME. FOR THE LIFE OF YOU.

Temponarcolepsy: The overwhelming sensation of sleepiness when (a) you get to class, (b) there’s a test, or (c) you've been asked to do the dishes.

Sneakonmania: The chronic desire to wear high-tops year-round, even in 250 degree weather.

Nonterphobia: The fear that, if you don't get on the internet immediately, you will never catch up with what's going on and will not understand what anyone is talking about for weeks and weeks.

Omninusquamia: Sitting around the house all weekend long, not doing anything, until... HOLY CATS! Is it Monday already?

Supervivatus by Proxy: Hyperactive interest in your friend's life, because nothing is going on in yours.

Oculophilia: Staring off into space only to realize that you’ve been staring at some dude across the classroom for the past 15 minutes. The poor soul now thinks that you are the biggest creep on the face of this planet and will avoid making eye contact with you for as long as he lives.

Pedagravita: The uncanny ability to trip and fall at the most embarrassing moments (in front of a full school bus, while holding a cafeteria tray, etc.).

Parentasilencia: When parents ask why you're so glum, you just grunt and poke your vegetables with a fork. Why must they use words like "glum," anyway? That just makes you more "glum," thereby worsening your psychological disorder of parentasilencia. *le sigh*

House Arrest

My wild thoughts have lost coherence (not that they were coherent at any point of time), and therefore, I have put it upon myself to spend this snow day collecting my thoughts and organizing them. I might alphabetize and colorcode them later. 

I think we got about five feet of snow in Indiana. My ruler says we got one and a half, but since when are rulers ever accurate? They're about as reliable as weathermen. And when are weathermen reliable? Never. I haven't had school in the past two days, and that is every teenager's dream come true. And now that I've finished my stress inducing college application, I can finally carry on with a normal life. I doubt that my eating and sleeping patterns will ever be the same again, but that's mostly due to the fact that I have internet connection. 

Although I've slept in until noon for the past two days, I've still managed to be productive. I cleaned my room, cleaned the bathroom, made some broccoli pasta stuff, baked some awesome banana bread, got some extra points in the "womanly abilities" category, finally watched The Social Network (I don't know if I liked it or not), and managed to work a snow blower. My dad, who started his new job in Michigan, was worried that my mom, my sisters, and I would be incapable of taking care of ourselves during the snowpocalypse and would most probably freeze to death. He decided to send me an e-mail on how to work the snow blower so that we could get out of the house and find appropriate shelter (as if our house doesn't have everything we need to survive). In an attempt to put the instructions in terms that I could understand, he described the parts of the snow blower rather than blatanly using the parts' names. So he called the red button the "big, round pushy thing," and the lever was the "black slidy thing." My parents have so much faith in me.

I think it's taken me about half an hour to write this whole thing. I am convinced that I have ADD. My attention span is no longer than 15 seconds. I need to work on that. Also, I heard that people who are having strokes often smell burning toast. Ever since I heard that, whenever I make toast, I think I'm having a stroke because I am incapable of making toast without burning it. I've lost control of my life.

#SWAG