Despite the permanent brain damage I’ve experienced during my senior year in high school, I can actually say that I’m learning something in my psychology class. So here’s an unofficial list of disorders that might not be sanctioned by psychologists, nor will they be found in the DSM-IV, but I think you might be able to recognize some of these mental hiccups:
Nomennonscisia: Amnesia that occurs when you see some person you've met, like, 100 times already, and you must introduce him to your friend, and you JUST. CAN'T. REMEMBER. HER NAME. FOR THE LIFE OF YOU.
Temponarcolepsy: The overwhelming sensation of sleepiness when (a) you get to class, (b) there’s a test, or (c) you've been asked to do the dishes.
Sneakonmania: The chronic desire to wear high-tops year-round, even in 250 degree weather.
Nonterphobia: The fear that, if you don't get on the internet immediately, you will never catch up with what's going on and will not understand what anyone is talking about for weeks and weeks.
Omninusquamia: Sitting around the house all weekend long, not doing anything, until... HOLY CATS! Is it Monday already?
Supervivatus by Proxy: Hyperactive interest in your friend's life, because nothing is going on in yours.
Oculophilia: Staring off into space only to realize that you’ve been staring at some dude across the classroom for the past 15 minutes. The poor soul now thinks that you are the biggest creep on the face of this planet and will avoid making eye contact with you for as long as he lives.
Pedagravita: The uncanny ability to trip and fall at the most embarrassing moments (in front of a full school bus, while holding a cafeteria tray, etc.).
Parentasilencia: When parents ask why you're so glum, you just grunt and poke your vegetables with a fork. Why must they use words like "glum," anyway? That just makes you more "glum," thereby worsening your psychological disorder of parentasilencia. *le sigh*
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