5 More Types of Highly Annoying People

1. The Overreactor: This is the friend (or maybe ex-friend) who just can't let anything go. You jokingly bring up how she used to throw soggy graham crackers at your face in the third grade, and BAM, you don't hear a word from her for days. Overreactors love to blow up over meaningless comments, and if they're not pouting and ignoring you, they're pestering you to such an extent that you just can't help but snap and scream, "ENOUGH! I GET THE POINT! GO AWAY, OR I WILL BE FORCED TO STAB YOU WITH MY CALCULATOR!" Which is advisable only as a last resort, because calculators aren't very sharp.

2. The Egomaniac: These people aren't just annoying; they're rude, too. Say you got a lead part in the school play, and you excitedly share the news with an Egomaniac. Does she respond by screaming that you're awesome and giving you a giant hug? Nope. She just stands there, blinking, and maybe says something like, "Oh. Huh. I could have gotten that part, but it didn't really require enough talent to interest me." An Egomaniac never appreciates anyone else's accomplishments, but loves to shout his/her own successes from the rooftops. If you know someone like this, give him/her a plane ticket to Alaska. Sorry, Alaskans: they're your problem now.

3. The Fun-Sucker: These people are the worst. When you make a sarcastic remark, even if everyone else in the room is cracking up, the Fun-Sucker just stares at you as if you're the stupidest person in the history of the planet. Fun-Suckers are basically sore losers who want the attention for themselves at all times, and no matter how genius or hilarious your comment may be, they won't crack so much as a grin. They're selfish, tend to be overly studious, and have been known to enjoy granola bars. Watch out.

4. The Ultra-Saint: These people seem lovely the first time you meet them, but by the third time around, you've pretty much had it. There's nothing wrong with niceness, but if it's a Monday morning and you can hardly keep yourself from slamming your head against your locker, this is not a person you want to run into. Example:

You: Bah. Monday. So. Tired. Hate. Everything.
Ultra-Saint: HI THERE! AREN'T MONDAYS GREAT? WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME TO MY SAVE THE WHALES MEETING?
You: ...Sure. If you don't yell.
Ultra-Saint: *grinning* I'M NOT YELLING, THAT'S JUST MY NORMAL VOICE, SILLY. I LIKE YOUR SHIRT!
You: Thank you. Can you leave now?
Ultra-Saint: SURE, I'LL GO EVEN THOUGH YOU DIDN'T SAY PLEASE. I HOPE I SEE YOU CHAINED TO A TREE WITH ME TO PROTEST THE DESTRUCTION OF THE RAIN FOREST!

Even if you're all for saving the whales and the rainforest, the Ultra-Saint's constant tendency to over-do the enthusiasm is bound to irk you, especially if you have a low tolerance for giant grins and shouting.

5. The Hypocrite: Hypocrites are almost worse than liars: they're not only lying to you, they're lying to themselves. They gossip about their best friends and then freak out when they hear someone else do the same; they preach against cheating on tests, but are always looking over your shoulder in Calculus. Hypocrites are in a permanent stage of denial, and somebody needs to slap them with a dead squirrel. Just don't kill the squirrel yourself, because that would be creepy and gross.